Can People Change?

By Dick O'Brien M.A.S.c

Many individuals have asked me can people really change or is it just superficial adjustments to their personality? My answer has always been an absolute yes! People can and do change all the time. Some personal change is a result of crisis. Others change as a result of reading, counseling, training or getting older. For some people it is a combination of all the above. There are other people who do not change over time. At least not in a positive way. There are people who become angrier at life, bitter with others and negative in general. However we are all changing all the time. This cannot be avoided; it is a fact of life and aging. The only issue then is, are we becoming bitter or better?

Many people who attempt to make personal changes in their life through counseling, courses or a special book claim that "it" didn't work. I feel the truth is closer to " you didn't work with it". Just about any encouraging, enlightening or uplifting thoughts will inspire a person to make personal changes. The key issues are whether they follow through on the path of personal growth to sustain those changes.

So many people are searching for quick fixes today, rather than travel the long and difficult road of long term and genuine personal change. I have learned that there are no quick fixes in life, only fundamental principles of living that take a lifetime of practice.

The following are the three fundamental principles of personal change. They are simple but powerful laws of nature. They are here for you to reflect on the progress of your own attempts to create personal change.

How do WE Change? Three Basic Steps:

Awareness

If you are not aware of a problem area in your life, you will never change it. You cannot change what you do not know.

There is a real need for brutal honesty with yourself in order to know what direction you need to pursue. Get to know what part you play in your relationship problems. What are your favorite excuses? What choices are you making that are creating the present outcome in your life?

Acceptance

Many people are aware of their own shortcomings and still do not do anything to correct the situation. They have not accepted that the problem in some way is theirs.

Acceptance is about ownership of the issue and commitment to the process. It implies a change of heart. If a person does not take personal responsibility for his or her own need to change, then the process is doomed from the start.

Action

Some people are enlightened as to an area they need to do something about and they are committed to make the changes, but for some reason they don't ever act on the situation and do things differently. Change requires that you act on what you have learned. It's not what happens to you in life that counts, it's how you choose to deal with it!

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